REMNISCENCE

I look at you as we walk,
And secretly,a tear falls,
No! Its not the time to cry,
Its just time to say goodbye.


Moments seem to stop right there,
And everything around me clears,
Reminding me of people so dear,
Moments full of joy and fears.


We talked over past,
We talked about future,
We talked for hours,
And would never tire.

Everything was smooth & fine,
No shadows of sorrows,no sighs,
Years passed by in the blink of an eye,
Everything was same yet something changed.

I tried to find and so did you,
but we struggled to talk and distances grew,
Days came and days went by,
Nothing stops as time flies,

We both knew it had to end,
As the string now had a knot,
I could blame you and so could you,
But we chose silence,thinking it may stop.

Its hard to kill something that was my life,
But choice was between fear and blame,
I could drag on for endless times,
But I chose numbness in place of pain.

When all this has to end one day
lets end it with a smiling face.
So I look at you as we walk,
A smile creeps on my face,
No! Its not the time to cry,
Its just time to say goodbye.

and if only I could turn back the time...

Last night I was going through my cupboard when I came across an my diary which i gave up writing long back.At times its good to find such things which show you much have you transformed during all these years and reading the diary made me wonder how very different was I!

Today,I just wanna make a confession......If only I could turn back the time,there are so many things that I would like to get back,so many things that I wish weren't a part of me or my life.A friend of mine always said,"Circumstances lead us towards a change which can either be good or bad" and I was a fool not to believe it.I always had this notion that we take a path,good or bad, only because we want to and then blame it on circumstances.Looking back at the old times,I realize,I myself have been the victim of circumstances.

A teacher of mine says,"Change is the only permanent phenomenon" and I agree but still.......If only I could turn back the time!!

I never wanted to become what I am today,and now lets not discuss what I am today :P

Just lets wish.......If only I could turn back the time!!

Now you guys tell me.....what would you like to do if you could turn back the time? (at times,it feels good to talk to the walls ;) )

another lame try at poetry......urdu this time

Ye aandhi jo chali abhi,kahaan se uthi?
Jo goonja charon taraf mere,shor kaisa hai?
Ye samjha tha mein ne,ab sukoon se sona hai,
Per ankhon mein jo chubha,ye khwaab kaisa tha?

Ye jo zindagi ke hain rang kayee,
ik jo khila,bujh gaye kayee,
Jo rang sab se munfarid laga,
wohi sari khushian le ura.

Zindagi hai ik kitab khuli,
Us ne mujhse kaha yehi,
Meinsafhey palat-ta reh gaya,
Per kaheen pe kuch likha na tha.

Utopia

He was standing in the midst of utter darkness when suddenly a bright light shone in the distance and, within a fraction of  a second,surrounded him completely.He was blinded by this sudden change and covered his eyes but invain.Bringing his hands back to his side,he narrowed his eyes trying to locate the source and finally he found it......at the far end of the path,a pair of sparkling eyes looking directly at him.Mesmerized,he moved towards them and realized that it wasn't just a pair of eyes but a slender figure covered by a similarly bright cloak which radiated the light that had surrounded him.Overcoming his shock,he moved closer and asked,"Who are you?"
The Charmer replied,"I have come to bring an end to the darkness in your life."

"But I am used to of living in the darkness,this change is bothering me",he replied.

"Its time for the darkness to end and that's the reason I am here.For a moment,it will startle you but then you'll love the light and soon you will feel the same light rising within you."

"And what good will it do to me?"

"What good did the darkness do to you?"

"Atleast it taught me one thing...expect nothing from life,accept anything it gives."

"And now,I'll teach you to expect everything from life and accept only what you like.You don't deserve to be unhappy and this world isn't as cruel as it seems.The best is yet to come."

"So you think I should carry on with life which i abandoned long ago and wait for the best to arrive?"

"No.I tell you the best time is round the corner and will be here any moment."

"Oh! How are you so confident?"

The charmer stepped closer, stared into his eyes and replied,
"This confidence give me the ability to pull people out of darkness and make them believe life is still waiting for them."

With that staring look,the boy felt warmth within him.He said,"Oh!  I can now feel something stirring within me,lighting up my spirits making me realize I was a fool to live in the darkness for so long.I want you to stay here forever."

The charmer held out her hand and said,"Hold onto me and you shall be happy forever"

The boy leaped forward and tried to hold the outstretched hand but the figure stepped back.He moved closer and tried again but suddenly felt the light around him fading and image in front of him blurred.It grew lighter and lighter with every second that passed by and the boy felt miserable because he didn't want to face the agony of staying in the darkness again.

"No No! Please don't go! You were the one to pull me out of darkness,you can't abandon me now.Atleast tell me who you are?",he kept crying.

The light kept vanishing and he saw the charmer's lips moving when he heard a whisper,"I am Hope.I come to light up one's life and go away when they start depending upon me."

With this,the charmer finally disappeared leaving the boy all alone in the same darkness he had lived for a long time but with a brand  new sense of agony....

Those who come will leave one day

Those who come will leave one day,
No matter what we do or say,
Or how much we want them to stay!
The eyes do weep,
the pain so deep!
The heart does sigh,
With a sad goodbye
The clock goes on,no turning back,
The colour of night is turning black,
With no mercy,it moves on,
Not caring how we linger on!
We turn our eyes to God and pray,
The only light that guides our way!
Look around us for those in misery,
Help them reach their path to glory,
Make a chain that never breaks,
Make it stronger day by day!
But deep inside,the pain remains,
Cos all good memories never fade,
All those memories that we had,
All the happiness that he's given,
Let this pain guide you to heaven,
Where you sure will meet your dad!

Amen!

I wrote this poem for a cousin who lost his father around 1 month back.May his soul rest in peace.amen.

We're still breathing...

Last week I was really depressed over the incidents taking place in the country and my last blog reflected my feelings very well.I thought I belonged to a nation that is dead and that won't hesitate to drink eachother's blood if circumstances demanded so.But today,when I went out to volunteer in one of the medical camps,I was stunned(yes,literally STUNNED).

The day was a little unfortunate at the beginning for me when I woke up and found out that the car wasn't in a mood to take me to the place I had to reach for volunteering so I had to use public conveyance to reach my destination.At first, I went to my university where I had heard some packaging was being done for the effectees.When I reached there,I couldn't believe my eyes for a moment....the entire university was full of relief goods and students were busy packaging them as if it was no big deal but let me tell you,it was a huge quantity to be taken that easily and all the students were fasting.From parking area to the garden,everyone was busy packing the stuff not caring about the heat and the fact that they were starving.I am one of those thankless people who are not attached to their institutes and always ready to quit it(apologies for that) but today....it was different.For the first time in my life,I loved the scene at my university.It reflected vibrance,life,love,care and above all....humanity.After that,I left for another institute where we were supposed to do the packaging and about 15 students(including me) completed the job of packing 1000 family packages containing items of daily use in just 3 hours.

Yes! My idea that we belong to a nation that is dead was a nightmare.It may not be absolutely wrong but it was far less than I had expected.I know you must be thinking that I form my opinions too quickly but no.....I had been listening from many friends that they are going for volunteering and they shared their experiences after coming back but until you experience something yourself,you never get to know how intense it is!

The best thing about all this is.....despite the fact that we dont have any support from the government or any higher authorities,common people are trying their best to bring the life of the effectees back to normal.May be their efforts are like a drop in the ocean but all these drops will make an ocean one day INSHALLAH!

Today's experience taught me one thing atleast: 'We're not dead,there are still some breaths left in us! Its time we should pure ourselves and unite among ourselves so that we can bring an end to those negative forces that bring disappointment for us and give a negative image of ours to the world".

Love you Pakistan,Love you Pakistanis!

Long Live Pakistan!

Do we cease to be humans even?

Ah! For the first time in my life,I feel ashamed of being a Pakistani. The news of two young boys being beaten to death is the headlines of almost every news channel by now.The brothers,18 year old Moiz Butt and 16-year old Muneeb Butt who went to the mosque in the morning as usual didn't know it would be their last prayer cos after a few hours they were surrounded by a bunch of animals(its a shame to call them humans) and beaten to death by sticks,stones and any object that could be found on the site for NO reason at all.The policemen seemed to enjoy the show too as they were seen standing in the crowd while the poor boys kept shouting,"Please shoot us if you like,it may be less painful than a death like this".The brutality didn't end with this and the dead bodies were hanged in public to show the entire universe 'how inhuman one can be'!

  The media played its role as it always does by playing the footage(captured by someone in the crowd) every 15 minutes and making sure that everyone felt the disgust and turned off their televisions.I wonder wasn't it enough to play the video once if 'awareness' was all what they wanted?

 While going through articles on different websites,I came across various comments posted by readers which were equally distressing.For instance,one of the overseas Pakistani had commented,"I feel ashamed associating myself with Pakistan right now". Reading this comment made me furious.Today,they disown of their country because of an act that cannot be justified........Will they disown their families tomorrow if the families committed an act that was morally inappropriate? Its time to own our country and bring the change rather than  accusing others!

Another comment I came across was "People like them(the murderers) are responsible for the problems being faced by the country right  now". Wth? Them? Its 'US'!!! Its time we should wake up from the dream that 'we're  the best nation in the world' and realize that we aren't even humans anymore!


  I personally think suspending the policemen and hanging the murderers wont do any good as there are many other innocent people dying this way everyday and their murders go unnoticed.The only way to get rid of these sad happenings is by 'self-accountability'. Being ashamed of ourselves today will lead us to the realization of the fact that 'how and when we become a part of injustice,cheating and fraud in our daily lives'.Once we become indifferent to these seemingly 'minor things',the day isn't far away when we might be playing the role of spectators while some other innocent soul spits on our faces and flies to the heaven.

O' Allah!

They say I'm alive but i feel dead,
Feeling alone,tied to a thread,
Striving hard to reach for You,
Trying to move on but cant make it through

O Allah,guide me through,
Give me courage to reach for You!

They say I'm alive coz i follow them,
Denying the path that You had led,
Living colours this world offered,
Forgetting the ones that You had loved,

O Allah,guide me through,
Give me courage to reach for You!

They look at me and call me obsessed,
Only because of the way I'm dressed
I try to stand and stand firm well,
Like a tree stands in the wind

O Allah,guide me through,
Give me courage to reach for You!

They mock at me for what I have,
I laugh at them for what they don't,
To love someone who's everlasting,
The pain of love itself a blessing,

O Allah,make me yours,
Be my heart and be my soul,
Coz i want to live,live in real,
Else I'd stay dead,dead forever!

down the memory lane...

When I was a kid,a young toddler,

all I wanted was food and a shelter;

I was contented with the life I spent,

With nothing around me to bother;

I grew up and so did my desires,

Growing and reaching farther & higher;

I had a family,food and shelter,

But all I wanted was 'something better';

I had friends to share my griefs,

But I walked past and looked for newer;

Slowly and slowly,all grew tired,

Leaving me alone,one after another;

Life went on as it always does...

I made fortune and grew older;

Now I have everything that I ever wanted

But no one to share the loneliness I suffer

Now here I sit alone in my palace.....

DESIRING for nothing but a friendly pat on shoulder!

the birth of another blogger

My exams finished ten days back and I am not habitual of a routine that allows leisure.In any case,I spent ten days wondering what should I do.I am not a very good writer as such but at times,i have an urge to write and to express myself.I never thought of doing all this online and speaking out my heart HERE! Some friends suggested me that I should write blogs and I never took it seriously but today,when I have actually started blogging,I am beginning to like it.I need to learn alot and lets see if I can keep it going.


Wish me luck,everyone! :)